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thirdwheel[Filter: Private ; Killian]
Damn it.
Neala's actually been asking why I haven't been focused lately, as if I've been focused enough at some point for her to notice. And it's so tempting to just let it all spill out. That my sister's gone on some mysterious, impossible, dangerous mission for years and she's not expecting to ever come back. That she left behind three children for me and my parents to take care of, parents that should be enjoying whatever old people do, which doesn't include chasing toddlers around. That her children might just grow up resenting her and hating her, and while I'd like to prevent all of that, I'm not sure, Erin, I'm not sure how when you're making it so dragonsdamned easy.
And that's not even the end of it! No, what would really be nice is if Desmund could just go home for once! For a day, or even an hour! Long enough for him to catch his stupid bitch of a wife and his even stupider friend together and stop Aurnia from trying something stupid. What makes it worse that I could just tell him about his wife having an affair. Showing him exactly what kind of person he married is what I'm here for, isn't it? But this plan didn't count on me being too damn scared of opening my mouth for once in my life. Because ...
Because Aurnia could be wrong. Because she's lonely and scared and hates her stepmother and feels betrayed by a person she thought was on her side. And because ... if I tell Desmund, I'd have to explain it to him from the start and then Aurnia will know how much I've not told her, and then this ... this whole thing might end. ... Not quite the heroic confrontation I imagined.
Damn, I'm stupid.
Damn it.
Neala's actually been asking why I haven't been focused lately, as if I've been focused enough at some point for her to notice. And it's so tempting to just let it all spill out. That my sister's gone on some mysterious, impossible, dangerous mission for years and she's not expecting to ever come back. That she left behind three children for me and my parents to take care of, parents that should be enjoying whatever old people do, which doesn't include chasing toddlers around. That her children might just grow up resenting her and hating her, and while I'd like to prevent all of that, I'm not sure, Erin, I'm not sure how when you're making it so dragonsdamned easy.
And that's not even the end of it! No, what would really be nice is if Desmund could just go home for once! For a day, or even an hour! Long enough for him to catch his stupid bitch of a wife and his even stupider friend together and stop Aurnia from trying something stupid. What makes it worse that I could just tell him about his wife having an affair. Showing him exactly what kind of person he married is what I'm here for, isn't it? But this plan didn't count on me being too damn scared of opening my mouth for once in my life. Because ...
Because Aurnia could be wrong. Because she's lonely and scared and hates her stepmother and feels betrayed by a person she thought was on her side. And because ... if I tell Desmund, I'd have to explain it to him from the start and then Aurnia will know how much I've not told her, and then this ... this whole thing might end. ... Not quite the heroic confrontation I imagined.
Damn, I'm stupid.
